1 John 1:9
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
When I decided to put God 1st, I of course realized it was Him that I hurt every day that I was not living my life in accordance to His will. One of the first things that a new Christian does is ask God for His forgiveness. I did the same. The question you should ask yourself though is, "Do I ask for forgiveness out of guilt or because I want it?" For me, it was the later. Of course I wanted His forgiveness, though, I didn't think I was worthy of it. I also asked myself, "Do I feel guilty if God forgives me instantly?" In a way, I thought of God's forgiveness like in a way that people think of it. People need time to forgive, however, God is not people. God is God. His mercy is at a level that we can't understand. If you are sincere in your repentance, He does forgive you right there on the spot.
There are still some days that I do not think I am worthy of His forgiveness but I know it doesn't matter. We are worthy to Him no matter what. Nothing that we can do will keep God from loving us. We are His children. He loves us just as a loving parent loves his/her child but even more. His love is eternal.
These lyrics really do make me feel guilty at times:
They tell me Jesus died For my transgressions And that He paid that price A long, long time ago
When He gave His life for me On a hill called Calvary But there's something else I want to know
Does He still feel the nails Every time I fail? Does He hear the crowd cry Crucify, again?
Am I causing Him pain? Then I know I've got to change I just can't bear the thought Of hurting Him
It seems that I'm so good At breaking promises And I treat His precious grace So carelessly
But each time He forgives What if He relives The agony He felt on that tree?
This is a song which really puts things into perspective. I honestly thought that I should be punished til I realized that isn't what God wants. He wanted me to simply repent and allow Him to come into my life and allow him to guide me along the path that He had set out for me. I have to admit that it took me so long to come to God because for most of my life I have felt like I was being punished. I was the worse about thinking that if things didn't go my way that I should blame God for it. I now know that was wrong. Honestly, I did already know it but I kept lying to myself. Since being saved, I know that things happen just as God wants them to. I simply just have to trust him just as I trust a chair to hold me up. I also have had to forgive myself. That in itself was extremely hard.
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